People say
That the water
Is welcoming
But I feel
Propelled
And rejected
By its strange proportions
By the blue thrashings
Of the waves
By the seduction
Of its nymph voice
By its ugly
Muddy
Secrets
By the way
It plays on my mind
Like a harp string
Plucking
In the dark riverbed
I cannot face
Its mirror images
And refracted beauty,
It’s sinuous
Hushing,
I feel raw
As a Selkie
Skinless
And
Humming
Oceans.
The day bores me blue,
And the hours, tighten as a wire.
But the night brings a craving,
For the cradle
For a tiredness that will never tire.
While the crude lisp of winter
watches, like a Serpent,
on my days,
My home is a home between arms,
And your comfort
Keeps weather at bay.
Your eyes,
They will warm these dry embers
In the long thawing
Of my black night.
And these ships will reel on my shorefront,
Aimless as white, patterned kites.
For every part of me is seeking,
As a gale that tears through a storm,
Yet the seeker will surely be brought,
To the lighthouse,
Where the light may be born.
Somehow I am lost
And have found my way
To this endless drawing board.
Without guiding hands,
I am a compass,
Pulseless, without a magnet.
I am forever at sea.
Each grain of day
Creates a nausea
Not unlike
That which
Turns you pale.
Forever lost,
In this terrifying plateau,
Of blue
And cool beneath.
Rock my heart,
Only if you will let the light in,
Turn my bow,
To starboard
Only if you know
Where we are going.
Otherwise
Leave me for the sea
Let me breathe,
With the cool green lungs
Of beneath.
I lost the sea
As I lay and waited
In emerald green
I held my hand as we parted.
I have descended
into this sense of wreckage
And I wish
I wish for you to sink with me.
You are like the sea
un-turning my pale flesh
like a stone.
Your arms are sand.
I cannot breathe
Even the birds have stalled in the sky
Their mobile wings
make paper planes of your shoulders
tilting towards the light.
I lost the sea.
I am gone
Gone with the wave,
And the water,
And the seduction
Of the Autumn leaves.
Their flaming beauty,
Auburn, Scarlet.
I am like a pale ghost
Underwater,
Looking up,
At the screams of their crimson reflections.
A whole day passed,
Where I was sheltered,
And shielded
In this salty mahogany castle.
The air is smooth as marble,
And my head,
As clear as the retched heaps
Of brown and faded gold
beneath my feet.
Another hour has passed,
And each day it seems to creep by me,
It’s awkward gait,
It brings an unease to mind,
As a hobbling woman would.
Worn and crusted with the years,
2 diamonds swinging limply from her earlobes,
And the sun in her eyes.
I felt my heart ache,
The dull rhythm,
Stitched together,
With all this time
And bad intentions.
I let myself go with the sea,
As far gone as the wave,
That reaches steadily for my hand.
The shadow and the soul 